This question comes from Dave in Washington, DC. He writes,

QUESTION: I figured there is no better person on the planet to ask this question to than you.  There is a woman that I currently work with that is African-American, and one day my Boss (who is white), started talking about African-Americans on the whole but called them “blacks.”  The woman flipped out on him saying she is “African-American not black.”  Is she right?  I think I need to know, because as a white guy, I don’t want to get my ass kicked in the future.

TREY SAY: Good question, Dave.  My opinion is that our world has become way too sensitive.  Most of the loyal readers of my column will know that I’m not the most politically correct dude out there, so I might not be the best person to ask after all.  Personally, I wouldn’t go all “Malcolm X” on you if you call me black instead of African-American.  But to that end, I’ll give you white folks some advice on how NOT to deal with us “black folks.”  Pay close attention.

  1. It’s NEVER okay to call us “n*ggas” – Yes, this point should go without saying, but some white folks watch too many rap videos these days and think it’s an everyday word.  For example, a few years ago I was playing pickup basketball at Venice Beach, and the team I was playing against had four black dudes and one white guy on it (my team was all black), and after one play where his team scored, the white dude said, “Damn, y’all n*ggas are pretty good!” What happened next was pretty funny – you know in the movies where folks are dancing at a party, and then someone says something stupid and the music just stops on a dime and everyone looks at that person?  Well, that’s what happened here – except for the fact that Vanilla Ice got his ass beat within an inch of his life.  I think I might’ve kicked him a few times myself.  Idiot.
  2. Don’t say stupid sh*t like “acting black” – Honestly few things in life will piss me off more than that.  Can someone please tell me how the f*ck you act black?  I’m serious.  I know that I’ve said this plenty of times before, but last I checked, you can’t act like a color.   Although it’s a stupid statement – I’ll humor the fools that subscribe to that method of thinking for a moment;  I’m assuming that they mean not speaking proper English, being loud and obnoxious in public places, doing crappy in school, and spending most of the day running from the cops, and snacking on government cheese. If that is what being “black” is all about then I should jump off of a cliff today.  Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever stolen a piece of gum in my life, I don’t speak in double-negatives, I’m not loud, I did well in school, I write good…er, I write well, and my clothes don’t hang off of my ass.  Does that make me “less” black?  I don’t get it.
  3. Don’t say “that’s ghetto” around black folks – We don’t like that very much either.  There’s a white chick that I know who will call any place “ghetto” that isn’t 95 percent white or totally immaculate. Give me a break. I wanted to tell her, “Honey, let me drop your ignorant ass off in Compton for the afternoon – and that will give you an education on what being ‘ghetto’ is all about.”

So Dave, if “Louisa Farrakhan” wants you to address her as an African-American instead of black, then I’d oblige her.  You don’t want to piss off a black…er, African-American woman, trust me.  Let me know how that works out for you.