Archive for category Relationships, Dating, and Booty Calls

This question comes from Julie in upstate NY.  She writes,

QUESTION: I have a dilemma on my hands. I’m 22, and will be graduating college next week. I have two job offers on the table, one is in Los Angeles and the other one is in Boston. They both pay the same salary, but I don’t know what to do.  Should I move to Boston where all of my friends and family are (but the weather is super cold)? Or should I move to LA where I don’t know anyone, but the weather is great?  I’m also single and would like to move to the city that has the best men to choose from.  What should I do?

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This question comes from Ricki in FL. She writes,

QUESTION: Hi Trey, over the weekend one of my girlfriends told me that she received a letter from her mother when she was 25. Basically the letter said that there will be times with her partner (boyfriend/husband) where she’ll need to take one for the team (i.e. either have sex when she’s not in the mood or give him a blow job).  Of course this is true, but is this a message that mother should give to her daughter?  Eww…

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This question comes from Paula in Washington DC. She writes,

QUESTION:  Hi Trey, I love your work!  I’m a white girl, and I have a question about black guys.   I am very happy with my body, and I like to believe that I have an athletic build.  Anyhow, for whatever reason – a lot of black men find me attractive.  They keep telling me that it’s because I have a “fat ass.”  I don’t know any woman who would be flattered by having any part of her body be called “fat,” but they insist that it’s a compliment.  What’s up with that?  I’ve never been with a black guy before, but since I’m not having much luck with white guys, I think I might try.

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This question comes from Shelly in Houston. She writes,

QUESTION: I have a 17 year old daughter, and yesterday I came home early from a business trip and walked in on her having sex with a 19 year old boy.  I’m mortified, and I don’t know what to do. All I know is that the moral fabric of our country has gone to hell ever since Obama came into office.  If Sarah Palin was president, my daughter would have someone to look up to and I wouldn’t have this problem.

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This question comes from Mike in Los Angeles.  He writes,

QUESTION:  I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now, and I never know what the hell she’s thinking.  For example, she asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day, and I said a gift card to Best Buy or Home Depot would be cool.  When I asked her the same question she replied, “I don’t really want anything this year.”  Did I just get off easy or is she sending me mixed signals?

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This question comes from Henry in Dallas, TX.  He writes,

QUESTION: I have a dilemma. I would like to get a Valentine’s present for my significant other, but I’m not exactly sure what to get. She’s beautiful, funny, has a great personality, and is very nice. The problem is that I don’t want my wife to find out that I’m buying a present for my significant other. Yes, I’m cheating…and the girl is 16 and I’m 32, but she’s great in bed and looks like she’s 26. Am I a scumbag for thinking about what Valentine’s gift I should give to my mistress instead of my own wife?

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This question comes from Shelly in New Orleans.  She writes,

QUESTION: Super Bowl Sunday is my favorite day of the year, and it’s probably not due to the reasons you’re thinking of.  I absolutely hate football and all sports, for that matter.  Seriously, what is compelling about a bunch of meathead losers running around in spandex?  My boyfriend and I are going to watch the new Channing Tatum movie Dear John, while the game is on and we’re both so excited.  While all of the idiots in this city are watching the Saints play, we’ll have the whole theater to ourselves.  Why aren’t there more men out there like my boyfriend?  The world would be a much better place.

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This question comes from Jack in Los Angeles.  He writes,

QUESTION: I need your help, Trey.  I’ve been emailing back and forth with a hella hot chick I met on the internet.  She lives in Indianapolis and is a big Colts fan.  We’ve never met in person, so I’m thinking it might be cool if I surprised her and flew out to Indy today to watch the game on Sunday. I have a lot of money, so I can do these things.  So what do you think?

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This question comes from Linda in Los Angeles.  She writes,

QUESTION: When is your lazy ass going to write another column??  I need some advice!  So, I met a guy at a holiday party in mid-December and he’s really cute and nice.  After our second date we had sex and it was HORRIBLE!  Besides the fact that he has a ridiculously small penis, he likes to talk dirty to me by calling me a “2-cent, trash bag whore” and other mean things.  We’ve had sex about ten times since then, and I have to fake orgasms just so it can end quickly.  I would break up with him, but he buys me a lot of nice things so I figured I’d keep him around for a while.  I just want to know how I can continue to have him freeze my wrists and neck without giving him a 100% discount at the Gap?

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This question comes from Derek in New York City.  He writes,

QUESTION: I need some help, man.  My girlfriend watches a lot of reality TV…I mean A LOT of it.  Seriously, I think she’s gotten dumber because of it.  She didn’t even know about the tragic earthquake in Haiti because she was too busy watching those greasy fools on Jersey Shore.  I can’t take anymore Bachelor, Survivor, American Idol, bullsh*t.  To be completely honest, the only thing that keeps me around is the fact that she’s a freak in bed and gives a mean blowjob.  But sooner or later that’s going to get old, right?  Should I just leave her?

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This question comes from Greg in Los Angeles.  He writes,

QUESTION: You are a f*cking idiot.  I read your Tiger Woods Scandal post, and I think you’re completely clueless about the “Cheating Sex” thing.  I’ve been cheating on my wife with my co-worker Julie for over a year, and she has no clue about it.  You kept saying in your post that “Cheating Sex” was going to find me and kick my ass – but nothing like that has happened or will happen.  As a matter of fact, just to prove how unafraid I am – I have my wife’s profile and Julie’s profile sitting right to each other on my Facebook page.  I guess I don’t really have a question, but I just wanted you to know that cheaters really can prosper.  Maybe you should find a new line of work, because your advice sucks.  Happy Holidays, Jackass.

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This question comes from Rebecca in Orange County, CA.  She writes,

 QUESTION:  Hi there, Trey.  One of my friends at work set me up on a blind date with a guy she knows. We met a bar on Wednesday night for drinks and he is tall, in great shape, and very good-looking. What’s the problem, you ask?  He was wearing a scarf.  I know it’s chilly for Southern California standards, but is 45 degrees cold enough for a man to wear a scarf?  Really?

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This question comes from Chris in San Diego.  He writes,

 QUESTION:  I need help on this.   My girlfriend has a bad habit of making fun of me in public.  I have no idea why she insists on doing this, but it really makes me feel like crap and I hate it.  I try to ask her nicely to stop, but she never does.  What should I do?

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This question comes from Ryan in Oakland.  He writes,

QUESTION:  I’m a 22 year old guy and I’ve been dating this 19 year old girl on and off for the past six months or so.  Anyway, last month I met her Mom (who happens to be single) for the first time – and dude, she is HOT!  Anyhow, she keeps flirting with me big-time and she actually invited me over this weekend while my girlfriend is in Las Vegas with her friends.  What should I do?

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This question comes from Kenny in Las Vegas.  He writes,

 
QUESTION:  I know a lot of your female readers will find my question disturbing, but I have to ask it anyway.  I’m a 44-year old guy and I’ve been dating this very attractive woman for about a month or so.   In any case, things got hot and heavy between us for the first time, but there was a serious problem:  Her vagina smelled bad.  Actually calling the smell “bad” is the understatement of the year.  It truly smelled like a combination of ass, smelly feet, old salmon, limburger cheese, and vinegar.  After we spend Thanksgiving at her parents house on Thursday, we’re going to head to a Bed & Breakfast that weekend.  She keeps voicing her frustration about the fact that I haven’t gone down on her yet.  What should I do?

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