This question comes from Ricki in FL. She writes,

QUESTION: Hi Trey, over the weekend one of my girlfriends told me that she received a letter from her mother when she was 25. Basically the letter said that there will be times with her partner (boyfriend/husband) where she’ll need to take one for the team (i.e. either have sex when she’s not in the mood or give him a blow job).  Of course this is true, but is this a message that mother should give to her daughter?  Eww…

TREY SAY: What else did her mother tell her?  That water is wet?  Sarah Palin is stupid?  Arizona really doesn’t like Mexicans?  Of course there will be times that a chick has to take one for the team.  The shocking part of this isn’t that her mom shared this information with her – it’s that her mother didn’t think that your friend knew that already.  Hell, in today’s society – she probably knew that by the time she was in 6^th grade. 

Being the wonderful guy that I am, let me provide you and every other chick reading this with some sound advice to live by when dealing with men:

Don’t mess with us when we watch sports:  Yes, I’ve said this many times before – but if you don’t know the difference between a Point Guard and an Offensive Guard, you probably should either keep your mouth shut or spend the afternoon shopping.  At the time of this post, my beloved Los Angeles Lakers are preparing for the Western Conference Finals.  Luckily, I was smart enough to marry a woman who can give me the shooting percentages of the Lakers starting five and has a strong understanding of the “Triangle Offense.”  Divorce papers will be filed if this ever stops. 

Don’t nag: Why do women do this?  Men hate it with a passion, but it never stops. Speaking of which, could you imagine what it would be like if a guy nagged?

HUSBAND: Honey!!

WIFE: Yes, dear?

HUSBAND: For the last time, could you please wash the dishes?? It’s really bothering me that I have to keep asking you to do it.

WIFE: Um…OK.  If it bothers you so damn much, why don’t you do it?

***Husband sighs loudly, rolls his eyes, and flails his arms like he’s exasperated***

HUSBAND: Fine! I’ll do it, but don’t expect to get any action from me tonight. Once I’m done watching Vampire Diaries, I have a feeling that a headache will be coming on.

WIFE: Whatever, you punk ass bitch.

See? This would never happen, because men don’t act that way.  Do you women see how annoying you are when you do this?  Do you??  Will you please stop????  Wait, now I’m nagging.  Nevermind.

Swallow:  Yeah…we don’t need to go into detail about that.

Stop hating: You know who the biggest haters on the planet are?  You guessed it: Women.  Not only are they haters, but they hate on other women all of the time.  For example, a female friend of mine approached me about Maxim magazine naming Katy Perry as #1 on its “Hot 100” list. She told me that Katy is “ugly and disgusting.”  Really?  Disagreeing with the selection is one thing, but to call her ugly and disgusting is going overboard.  First off, unless your name is Nicole Scherzinger or Beyonce – Katy Perry is much hotter than you.  Secondly, your husband or boyfriend would have sex with Katy in a moment’s notice if provided the opportunity.  So a little less “hateration” and a little more congratulation would be nice once in a while.  It just makes you look insecure, and dudes don’t like that.

I could go on for days about this, Ricki…but I think that’s a good start for now.  I hope you and every other woman reading this follows my advice if you plan to keep your man happy.  If not, let me know how spending nights alone watching Ghost Whisperer reruns and eating Rocky Road ice cream works out for you.